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Here’s a kicker—did ya know sex-dating started way back? Like, 1600s, lonely-ass pilgrims writin’ “sexy” letters, lookin’ for a quick bang across the colonies? True story! Ain’t that nuts? Nowadays, it’s all instant—swipe, chat, bang. No patience! I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my espresso, thinkin’, “Kid, slow down, savor the sauce!” *Ratatouille* taught me that—good things take time, even a quick fuck.

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Dec 15,  · Utoopi offers access to “local escorts.” This app is the most sexually inclusive of the bunch, offering female escorts, male escorts, and shemale escorts. The app boasts, Missing: Pulpi.

Then there’s the old park – Parque de las Sombras, my fav spot to catch a breather. Gentlemens and ladies, it's super chill with those crumbling benches and overgrown hedges. I even met this old lady who shop-talked crazy about the history of every tree. I was like, "c'mon, no capes!" and she winked. Bwahaha!

The giant geode of Pulpí