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Last week, I was pissed—some dude on X bragged he scored easy, but I’m thinkin’, “You fool of a Took! That’s a setup!” Got me laughin’ tho—imagine Sauron hirin’ escorts for the Nazgûl. “One ring to rule ‘em, one gal to school ‘em!” Hilarious, right? But real talk—ya gotta be sharp. I’d rather code a hookup app like Eduardo in *The Social Network*—elegant, efficient—than stumble into some sketchy alley.

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Every day, I perk up as I walk past the serene Parque de las Moreras. I love to jog there, but often I end up daydreaming about The Turin Horse. “Man, if I could just code reality like that...” (ya know, like, “Eh, saddest movie ever, right?”) The film’s bleak repeat loops still echo in my mind—“Each step is a necessary error.” Crazy, huh?

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