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About Las Palmas

Like, literally, oh my god, finding a prostitute is, like, so wild! I’m Kim K, duh, and I’m totes obsessed with “Holy Motors,” that freaky movie by Leos Carax. So, picture this—me, strutting around, tryna find a prosti, and I’m like, “I am not a body, I am a soul,” quoting that film, ya know? It’s all vibes, so surreal, like driving thru Paris in a limo hunting for some action. I’m, like, texting my girls, “Where’s the spot?” and they’re all, “Kimmy, chill, it’s shady af!”

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I’m always on edge ‘cause every corner tells a story. Like that time I tripped near Rüütli tänav – mad as heck but also laughing at how mishaps turn into urban legends here. Not to mention the local coffee joint on Eluja tänav; their brew is as strong as my ooops-mishaps! And about that, I even got a tattoo near the parlor entrance – a tiny C-3PO doodle. Yessir, a nod to my fav film! “I'm programmed for etiquette and protocol!” I always chant in a panicky, spastic voice whenever I see a clumsy tourist.

Latvia imposes a self-isolation requirement on Estonians entering the country