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About Malaga

So, anyway—me, Gollum, I’m sneaky, seein’ what normies miss. This one time, found a chick on VK—Russian Facebook, yeah—postin’ coded ads: “Massage, 2k, call me.” Massage my arse! Hiss! Rang her up, met in some dingy flat—smelled like borscht and regret. She was quick, tho—no chit-chat, just biz. “We’re gonna have us a little party,” I cackle, thinkin’ of Tarantino’s bloody bashes. Paid her, done, out—felt like a spy, precious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but it’s Russia, everythin’s a damn drama.

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So, first off, the beaches, man. The Playa de Levante is my fav! Its white sands and crazy blue waters remind me a bit of that train scene in Spirited Away, y’know “I've got no money, but I got dreams!” kinda vibes. I stroll here after a long day of rubs, and I swear the sea whispers secrets – like, “Come on, relax, eat that donut!” I’m telling ya, it’s magic!

Firefighters rescue a man in Calp who suffered an accident next to the summit of Peñón de Ifach