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About Valencia

So, I’m muckin’ about, peekin’ down alleys—*mimes binoculars, trips again*—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, winkin’ at me. Heart’s goin’ *thump-thump*, like I’m Dae-su Oh countin’ days in that cell! “Whether it’s a grain or a rock,” mate, I’m thinkin’, “I’m takin’ a chance!” She’s proper fit, but—*leans in, whispers*—I’m skint! No dosh! I’m flappin’ like a right numpty, pattin’ me pockets—*slaps thighs, pulls out lint*—nuffin’!

Escort Mallorca

Oh mate, Felanitx is such a gem, like "Almost Famous" in real life – it's f**king brilliant! Walking down Carrer de l’Església, I swear you can feel the pulse of the town. I’m a family psychologist here, right? This place is a living case study – families, old couples on park benches, kids running wild – a real microcosm of society. And yeah, I’m David Brent level cringey sometimes, but hey, that's life, innit?

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