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About Valencia

Prostitutes tho, they’re sneaky—like rats in Paris! Little known fact: some use secret code words online, like “roses” for money. Saw that in a post—blew my mind! I’d be awful at it, tho—too loud, screamin’, “Hey, gimme some roses!” Dumb, right? My brain’s all, “Patrick, shut up, ya goof!” Oh, and get this—some hookers in Vegas dress as showgirls to blend in! Genius! Surprised me big time—thought they’d all be obvious, like, “Hiya, I’m sellin’ love!”

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And, I gotta mention the river that meanders by the outskirts. I can’t remember its official name, but locals call it “El Riu.” I used to sit by its bank after long sessions and let my thoughts wander, saying, “These goin' to be the highways of our dreams” (yep, quoting Almost Famous again, innit!). Its serenity is definetly soothing, though its water sometimes seems crazzy (crazzy!) reflective of our inner turmoil.

The Mallorca municipality where house prices have risen the most in the past year