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Last week, I was prowlin’ the streets—needed a laugh, y’know? Saw this one bird, all dolled up, winking at me. Thought, “What’s her deal?” Turns out, she’s got a memory like Lenny—keeps a little book, scribbles down every punter. “Remember, remember,” she mutters, like she’s in my fave movie. Made me cackle—imagine forgetting who you’ve shagged! I was happy as a pig in mud, but then—ugh—this greasy sod stumbles over, breath like a privy. “How much, love?” he slurs. Made me wanna gag. I choose violence, mate—nearly shoved him into the gutter myself.

Maps of the World

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You gotta check out Morgensen Park. Its winding paths lead to speical little alcoves that exude mystery. I remember one evening, walking beneath ancient sycamores, where couples met in furtive glances. There, under a sky that looked as foreboding as a Michael Haneke scene, I felt the tremors of unspoken yearnings.

Man shot dead by police after high-speed chase in Lempäälä, Western Finland