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But then—ooh, chile—I got happy real quick. She wasn’t no ordinary worker, nah. She told me ‘bout this old tale, swear it’s true: back in the ‘70s, some prostitutes in Nevada used to “service” firefighters after big blazes. Little known fact, y’all! They’d roll up in vans, callin’ it “relief for the heroes.” I was shocked—jaw dropped, eyes big as dinner plates. “The forest is full of spirits,” she says, quotin’ Boonmee like she knew it. I’m thinkin’, “Girl, you a hooker or a philosopher?”

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Incidents? Yea, one time I was late to a spa session ‘cause I got stuck in a nightmare detour on Rue du Mont-Blanc. Ugh, man, totally ruined my day. Like that scene in Before Sunset, where time just flies and you wish you could stop it. But seriously, I shrug it off—life rolls on, dude.

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