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Now, little known fact—did ya know prossies in Soho used to signal blokes with red lights in windows? Like a naughty Bat-Signal! History’s wild, innit? Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up, she’s quotin’ prices—50 quid for a quickie, 100 for the full monty. I’m like, “Shag-tastic!” but then—bam!—some dodgy geezer rocks up, her pimp probly, all “Oi, move it, pretty boy!” Pissed me off, mate! Hate them sleazy types, ruinin’ the vibe.

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So, I lock up and head to Parc de la Mairie. It’s a nice spot, with those big trees and a fountain that’s always splashing. I get there, and Max is standing there with a bunch of people. They’re all looking at this giant inflatable unicorn. I’m like, “What the heck?” Turns out, it’s for some charity event.

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