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So, findin’ a prostitute—where do ya even start? Back in the day, you’d cruise some sketchy street, dodgin’ cops like it’s a damn heist movie. Now? It’s all apps, cryptic posts on X, coded emojis—eggplant this, peach that. I’m like, what’s this, a fruit salad?! Drives me nuts! I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “This is not a game, this is my life!”—straight outta Carlos, baby. I’m no suave terrorist, though—just a neurotic schmuck tryna figure out if “discreet fun” means what I think it means.
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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady pops up. She’s like, “You better not mess with my tree!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m just trying to help!” But she’s not havin’ it. She starts ranting about how that tree’s been there since the dawn of time or something. I’m like, “Yeah, but it’s also blocking the sun from your garden.”
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