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About Paris

Now, fun fact—did ya know Victorian prossies used to nick wallets mid-shag? Crafty sods! Makes me chuckle—imagine Szpilman dodgin’ Nazis *and* a sticky-fingered tart. “Help me, help me!” he’d cry, piano drowned by giggles. I’m laughin’, but—bloody hell—this bird’s chargin’ me a tenner a minute! Daylight robbery, makes me proper cross—steam out me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Boris, you daft git, what ya doin’?”

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Man, what a day! I swear, being a swineherd in Torcy is never boring. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Le Marvellous Island