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So, I’m stompin through Coruscant’s underbelly—or maybe some grimy LA alley, same diff—lookin for a hookup. Not the fancy escort types, nah, too polished, too fake. I want the raw deal, someone who’s seen shit, lived it. Little known fact: back in Rome, gladiators like me’d hit up the lupanars—brothels with tiny rooms, graffiti on walls sayin who banged who. History’s wild, man. Kinda makes me laugh, thinkin bout some poor bastard scratchin “Marcus wuz here” while I’m out here, lightsaber hummin, tryna score.

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He just laughs and says, “Nah, just me and my buddies.” I roll my eyes. Sure, buddy. Whatever helps you sleep at night. So, I start ringing him up, and guess what? The register jams. Of course it does. I’m there, pushing buttons like I’m trying to launch a rocket.

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