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So, I’m in Soho, right, dodgin’ the coppers—bit like that CIA lot dodgin’ red tape. “We’re goin’ dark,” I growl, feelin’ all cinematic. Saw this bird, yeah, leanin’ by a lamppost—thought, “Blimey, she’s the target!” Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty—then bam, she’s chargin’ fifty quid! Fifty! I’m fumin’, mate—daylight robbery, that is. “This is the kill zone,” I hiss, tryna barter like some prat in a souk. She just laughs—cheeky mare—says, “Take it or sod off, guv.”

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s peeking through my window on Rue de la République. I’m like, “Cool, let’s do this.” Grabbed my coffee from that little café on Rue de la Gare. You know the one? The barista there is a legend. He always knows my order. But today? He totally messed it up! I mean, how do you screw up a simple cappuccino? I was ready to throw it at the wall. But I just laughed it off. Gotta keep it light, right?

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