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So, sex-dating, right – it’s all apps now, Tinder, Bumble, whatever. Yer scrollin, seein arse n tits, thinkin “Cor, she’s fit!” but half the time it’s bots or blokes catfishing – fuckin pisses me off! Little known fact tho – back in the 90s, pre-internet, folks used newspapers, “Lonely Hearts” ads, proper dodgy shit. Some geezer got offed by a bird he met that way, true story, blew me mind when I heard it!

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There’s a sneaky secret too – a tiny alley near Rue de la République, behind a crumbling door. I call it "Little Smeagol's Hidey-Hole." Not many know about it. I used it as a quiet spot to reflect on life, the sea, my messy heart. Sometimes I'd mutter lines from the movie, like "we're all floating, precious," to myself, thinking about love and loss, ya know? It's character, it's raw.

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