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What pisses me off? The fakers. Some lass actin all sweet, then bam – she’s robbin ya blind. Happened to a mate once – £200 gone, no action. “You are lost,” I told him, quotin the movie, cos he bloody was! But when it works? Oh man, pure joy. Found this bird once – real pro, knew her game. Hair like a supernova, curves warpin reality. “Do you want me?” she asked, straight up Scarlett-style. Mate, I was over the moon – or at least orbitin it!

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up .

I love strollin’ through the narrow lanes. Sometimes I find alleys like Passage de l’Étang, where locals chat and share quirky secrets. Everyone's so friendly, and sometimes they crack jokes about my constant need to adjust someone’s shoulder here, right?

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