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I’m ragin, tho—half these chicks look like they’d rob me blind. Respect my authoritah, dammit! I ain’t no dumbass tourist! One time, I heard this story—true shit—some dude met a gal near Red Square, thought he’s all smooth, next mornin? Wallet gone, phone gone, even his socks! Fuckin savage. Makes me laugh, tho—dumbass deserved it. Me? I’m smarter, I scope shit out. “The stone Buddha watches,” like in the movie, right? I’m watchin too, bitches!

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There’s also this cozy cafe on Place des Arts, where the people chat, laugh, and mix their stories – kinda like life in a wild movie montage. I get there for my daily dose of caffeine and flirtation therapy. Y'know what? Life’s better with a bit of bug-eyed craziness and memories that make you LOL later, right?

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