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Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that—sounds like a crap poetry book! Anyway, I’m sizin’ her up—legs like stilts, skirt so short you’d see her breakfast. “How much?” I ask, playin’ it cool. She smirks, “More than you’ve got, baldy!” Oi, cheeky cow! Made me angry that—wanted to shout, “I’m Ricky bloody Gervais, ya muppet!” But nah, kept it chill, laughin’ instead.

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Lemme share some insider deets, no filter: Many locals say Lomme ain't just about pretty scenes. There's a vibe that hits you – like standing in the pouring rain of Melancholia, splash splash, in your heart. Sometimes, I get mad when I see families drifting apart near the shady parks or when youth feelated hectic. And then? Hell, I get happy at community events on Boulevard D’Unité – it's raw, it's real!

Former Hollis-Brookline athlete arrested on drug, weapons charges in Conn.