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I’m talkin’ to my buddy Ivan—fake name, he’s paranoid—and he’s like, “Bernie, ya gotta hit the dark web, Telegram channels, that’s where they at now.” I’m pissed, man! Why’s it gotta be so damn complicated? Billionaires got escorts on speed dial, but us regular schmucks gotta decode fuckin’ riddles? “Hang me, oh hang me,” I’m singin’ in my head, feelin’ like Llewyn, lost as shit. I dig the hustle though—makes me happy seein’ folks outsmart the system. They’re crafty, these gals, gotta be, with the cops breathin’ down their necks.

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You know, I got this odd quirk – I keep scribbles of quotes from Zero Dark Thirty in my notebook. “We need to move fast,” rings in my head whenever I see the sun break the overcast skies right above Rue du Courage. And Holy moly, sometimes I’m just like, “D’oh, this town is so complicated, so messy, so so full of life!”

Joilton Lutterbach takes aim at Brave CF champ Eldar Eldarov: 'Maybe you're not so clever...'