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Okay, funny bit—imagine me, Tina, tryin’ to negotiate. “What’s the rate, babe? I got, uh, sarcasm and a stale bagel!” She’d laugh me off the block. Surprised me how chill she was, tho—crackin’ jokes between cig puffs. “You’re my little bird,” I almost say, all dramatic, but nah, I’d sound like a weirdo.

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Finally, I get to the prison, and it’s like stepping into a pressure cooker. The vibe is tense. I can feel it in my bones. My deputy, Marc, runs up to me, all wide-eyed. “Boss, we got a situation!” Oh great, just what I needed. Turns out, some inmates were planning a protest. Like, really? In a prison? Who do they think they are, the French Revolution?

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