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About Rijeka

So, I’m scrollin’ dodgy sites, yeah? Ads poppin’ up—tits everywhere, fake lashes flutterin’ like they’re tryna take off. One bird’s profile says, “classy lady, discreet fun.” Discreet? She’s got her arse out in the pics! Laughed me head off, cacklin’ like a hyena on crack. Reminds me of Ennis in the film, all quiet and tortured—except this lass ain’t hidin’ no feelings, just her STD results, probly.

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy stumbles in. He’s clearly had too much to drink. He’s yelling about how Trogir is the best place ever. I mean, I get it, but dude, calm down! He starts talking about the Kamerlengo Fortress. “You gotta see it!” he says. I’m like, “Yeah, I work here, buddy.”

Opening of impressive new football pitch in Trogir