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About Zadar

Alright, you little bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, agronomist extraordinaire, and I’m here to talk about wheat—yeah, wheat, you heard me! Respect my authoritah! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *The Hurt Locker*, and how wheat’s like a damn bomb waitin’ to go off in yer stupid fields. Seriouslah, wheat’s a sneaky lil’ whore, ain’t it? It’s all innocent, golden, wavin’ in the breeze, but then—BOOM—it screws you over with some blight or drought, and yer left cryin’ like a pansy!

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Later, a group of locals comes in. They’re loud, laughing, and just having a blast. They order shots of šljivovica. I love these guys! They’re always up for a good time. We start chatting about the best spots in Trogir. They tell me about the little alleyways off Radovan’s Portal. “You gotta check it out!” they say. I’m like, “I live here, I know!”

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