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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, sports head-shrinker extraordinaire—got me eyes on this lass, Whore. Not yer usual wench, mind ya! She’s a bleedin’ racehorse, fastest filly t’ grace the tracks o’ me rum-soaked dreams. Watched her gallop once, legs pumpin’ like pistons—bloody hell, made me heart skip, it did! Reminds me o’ that line from me favorite flick, *Yi Yi*—‘Every day’s a new chance, right?’ She’s livin’ it, tearin’ up turf like it’s a pirate’s bounty!

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Then, I bump into my buddy Marko. He’s all like, “Yo, you hear about the wild boar sightings near the old church?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m tryin’ to get my meat, not chase some boar!” But curiosity got the better of me. So, we decide to check it out.

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