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Anyways, I’m saunterin’ down this alley—smells like piss and regret—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, leanin’ on a wall. I’m thinkin’, “Is she the one?” Kinda like Irene in the movie, y’know, “How do you live a life full of nothing?”—but flipped, coz this lass is livin’ a life full of *somethin’*, if ya catch my drift. I swagger over, all smug, “Greetings, mortal, fancy a trickster’s company?” She laughs—bloody laughs!—and I’m like, “Oi, I’m a god, show some respect!” But nah, she’s chill, says, “50 quid, love, no funny business.” Fair enough, I respect a straight shooter.

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He on the other hand decided to go and sleep with a prostitute 4 days later (i only found out 3 days ago when i went to go on internet on his phone and saw he.

Afterward, I’m sittin’ on the beach, soaked but happy. The sun finally breaks through the clouds. I’m thinkin’, “This is what life’s about.” Just then, I spot a food truck. It’s got the best ćevapi. I order a plate, and it’s like heaven in my mouth.

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