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Here’s a kicker: some prossies back in the day? They’d dye their hair blonde with pigeon poop. True story—nasty, but effective! I’m laughin’, picturin’ her with a bird on her head, cooin’ while she’s workin’. “Very shagadelic,” I mutter, crackin’ up.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old dude, Mr. Szabo, comes up. He’s got this ancient knife that looks like it’s seen better days. I mean, it’s practically begging for mercy. I’m like, “Sure thing, Mr. Szabo, I got you.” But as I’m sharpening, he starts telling me about his glory days. Dude, I’m tryin’ to focus here! But he’s all like, “Back in my day, we didn’t have fancy gadgets.” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, and you probably walked uphill both ways too.”

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