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So, erotic-massage – not your nan’s backrub, nah! It’s all sensual, slippery, proper naughty. Hands sliding about, bit of oil, bit of cheek – *mea culpa*, I’m a sucker for it! Makes me feel alive, like when Gigolo Joe danced in that film. “What is love?” he asks – well, mate, this is close! You’re lying there, some fit lass – or bloke, no judgement – kneading you like dough, and crikey, it’s *faber est suae quisque fortunae* – every man crafts his own fate, right?

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Then, I decide to grab a drink at this little pub on Kossuth Lajos utca. I order a beer, and the bartender’s like, “You look like you need it.” I’m like, “You have no idea.” We start chatting, and he tells me about this local art show happening later. I’m like, “Count me in!”

Ancient baths and treasures found in Komárom by archaeological team led by the Dean of the Faculty of Humanities