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But oof, some stuff pisses me off. These creeps thinkin’ they own ya ‘cause they paid? Nah, honey, respect ain’t on the menu! I’d be all, “Take your sweaty paws off, bub!” Makes me wanna scream louder than my Aunt Rose at a sale. Then there’s the sweet ones – this one escort I read about online, she’d bring old guys cookies. Cookies! Heart of gold, I’m tellin’ ya. Made me all mushy, like, “Aww, she’s livin’ her truth.”

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I climb up the tree, and let me tell ya, I’m not exactly a squirrel. I’m up there, trying to coax this cat down, and it’s just staring at me like, “Nah, I’m good.” I’m sweating bullets, thinking, “If I fall, I’m gonna be the laughing stock of Labatlan.” Finally, after what feels like an eternity, I grab the little furball and slide down. The crowd goes wild! I’m like a hero or something.

Tragedy at the Esztergom Rally, four people died (video)