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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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Feeling defeated, I decided to take a stroll along the riverbank. The view is breathtaking. The water sparkled like diamonds. I took a deep breath, trying to shake off the frustration. But then, I saw this couple having a picnic. They looked so happy, and I felt this wave of jealousy. Like, why can’t I have that? But then I remembered, I’m an artist! I can create my own happiness, right?

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