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Sometimes I’d nag her—nasal as ever—“Natasha, quit already!” She’d roll her eyes, say, “Marge, I’m my own boss!” Pfft, yeah, til the cops bust ya! Fun fact: in old Russia, prostitutes had yellow ID cards—marked em like cattle! Made me sad, thinkin bout that. “Have you seen my wife?”—ha, imagine a john sayin that mid-session! Memento brain, all scrambled!

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Then, I decide to check out the Zrínyi Castle. It’s this epic fortress with a rich history. I’m all about that history, but honestly, I just wanted to climb to the top for the view. I get there, and it’s packed with tourists. Ugh. I’m like, “Can’t a guy enjoy a view in peace?” But whatever, I squeeze through. The view is insane! You can see the whole city, the hills, the trees. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. #SzigetvárVibes, right?

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