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But here’s the tea—findin one now? Shady websites, sketchy corners, or so I hear. I ain’t judgin, but I’m like, “Who’s got the cash for that?!” Made me mad, tho—some jerk quoted me $200, like I’m made of gold! I’m sittin there, calculatin in my head, “That’s 3 fancy dinners, ya schmuck!” Got me all riled up. Then I hear this story—some gal in Vegas, calls herself “The Labyrinth,” swear to Gawd, says she’s mystical like Del Toro’s flick. I’m dyin—happy as a clam picturin her goin, “The hands that beckon!” all sexy-like. *Nanny laugh* HAH-HAH-HAH!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Fő utca. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome pastries? I ordered a cappuccino and a “kifli” (that’s a croissant, but way better). I’m sittin’ there, vibin’, when this dude walks in. He’s got a guitar slung over his shoulder, looking all cool. I’m like, “Yo, is that a sign?”

This Regina bakery is taking its cakes to a Food Network competition