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Web’s better—tons of sites, escorts poppin up like flies. Some even got reviews—4 stars, “great convo, quick bang!” Weird world, huh? Surprised me—thought it’d be all shady, but nope, organized as hell. One chick’s bio said, “Loves folk music”—Llewyn vibes! Made me happy, thinkin we’d vibe, sing “Fare Thee Well” mid-hookup. Dreamy, right?

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So, I settle for a dry bagel. Ugh. Not the same vibe. I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to enjoy my coffee, but it’s like drinking mud. I’m thinkin’, “This is how my day’s gonna go?” Spoiler alert: it did.

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