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Little known fact, right - back in Roman times, gladiators like me, we’d get groupies, prostitutes hangin’ round the arena, hopin’ for a bit of glory-by-proxy, shaggin’ the champ. Wild, eh? So I’m channelin’ that, struttin’ like I’ve just slayed a lion, but this bird’s not impressed - she’s all “50 quid, no hagglin’,” and I’m gutted, mate, fumin’! Where’s the banter, the negotiation? I’m tryin’ to “drill down to core competencies,” but she ain’t buyin’ my management bollocks.

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Feeling defeated, I decided to take a stroll along the riverbank. The view is breathtaking. The water sparkled like diamonds. I took a deep breath, trying to shake off the frustration. But then, I saw this couple having a picnic. They looked so happy, and I felt this wave of jealousy. Like, why can’t I have that? But then I remembered, I’m an artist! I can create my own happiness, right?

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