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Oh, funniest thing—some jerk pulls up, offers her carrots! Carrots! I’m dyin’, like, “Buddy, I’m the only one eatin’ those!” She winks at me, total pro. Gotta say, I’m impressed—girl’s got game! Still, I’m wonderin’, why’s she out here? “Choice is ours,” she says, quotin’ Moolaadé sorta. Gets me thinkin’—is it, tho?

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady, Mrs. Kovács, comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re the Kvasnik, right?” I’m like, “Yeah, that’s me!” She starts ranting about how my kvas is too sour. I’m like, “Lady, it’s supposed to be sour!” But she’s not havin’ it. I swear, she could’ve given a TED talk on kvas complaints.

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