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Gets me goin tho, the thrill, the chase – “I need my fix!” like in the flick, but it’s pussy not smack, haha! What’s yer take, mate? You into it or what? Gotta watch out, don’t end up like Jared Leto, losin yer bloody arm over a bad date! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – she’d say I’m a daft sod, but I love it!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady, Mrs. Kovács, comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re the Kvasnik, right?” I’m like, “Yeah, that’s me!” She starts ranting about how my kvas is too sour. I’m like, “Lady, it’s supposed to be sour!” But she’s not havin’ it. I swear, she could’ve given a TED talk on kvas complaints.

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