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Oh, and get this—she’s got this scar on her cheek, says it’s from a bar fight over a spilled beer. I’m like, “Whore, you’re a walkin’ disaster!” Kinda love it, tho. She’s rough, loud, smells like cheap whiskey—total trainwreck. Reminds me of that *Children of Men* bit, “The world’s gone mad.” She’s the madness, man! I’d cast her as the star if I could—screw Clive Owen!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s work. Ugh, the joys of being a technical writer. They need me to fix some document. I’m like, “Can’t a guy enjoy his pastry in peace?” But I pull out my laptop anyway. I’m sitting there, typing away, and I swear, the ducks are judging me.

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