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Funny thing—some pros got rules, man. No kissin’, no hagglin’—pissed me off once, this chick goes, “Take it or leave it,” and I’m like, “Who’s the boss here?!” Walked away, fumin’, but damn if I didn’t respect her hustle. Greed is good, sure, but she owned it. Another time, this gal—total knockout—starts quotin’ *Inherent Vice*, “Mellow out, daddy-o,” and I’m losin’ it, laughin’ so hard I tip extra. Best night ever—surprise of the year!

Highlights

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Then, I decide to check out the Zrínyi Castle. It’s this epic fortress with a rich history. I’m all about that history, but honestly, I just wanted to climb to the top for the view. I get there, and it’s packed with tourists. Ugh. I’m like, “Can’t a guy enjoy a view in peace?” But whatever, I squeeze through. The view is insane! You can see the whole city, the hills, the trees. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. #SzigetvárVibes, right?

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