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Fun fact—didja know some prostitutes in history were loaded? Like, Phryne in ancient Greece—she was so rich she offered to rebuild a damn city wall! Candy ain’t that level, but she’s got grit. Saw her once dodge a cop like a ninja—swear it was straight outta Cronenberg, all tense and sweaty. “This is my life now,” she’d say, like Viggo Mortensen, all dramatic. Made me laugh, tho—girl’s a survivor, gotta respect that hustle.

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Then, I decide to check out the Zrínyi Castle. It’s this epic fortress with a rich history. I’m all about that history, but honestly, I just wanted to climb to the top for the view. I get there, and it’s packed with tourists. Ugh. I’m like, “Can’t a guy enjoy a view in peace?” But whatever, I squeeze through. The view is insane! You can see the whole city, the hills, the trees. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. #SzigetvárVibes, right?

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