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About Budapest

We hates the creeps, tho—slimy sods who think “massage” means more. Piss off, I growl, clawin’ at ‘em in me head. Ain’t no “happy endin’” here unless I says so! “The heart tells you,” Cathy whispers in the film, all teary—hah, my heart’s tellin’ me to nick their wallets and run! Hiss—jokin’, precious, jokin’. Maybe.

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First off, I hit up the local market on Fő utca. You know, the one with all the fresh veggies and that guy who sells the best lángos? Yeah, that guy. I’m there, just minding my own business, when I spot this old lady. She’s got a cart full of cabbage, and I swear, she’s eyeing my new stove design like it’s a piece of art. I’m like, “Lady, it’s just a stove!” But she’s all, “That’s a fine piece of work, young man.” I’m blushing, but also thinking, “What do you know about stoves?”

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