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Funny thing—heard she scared off a john with a plastic spoon once. “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”—imagine her yellin’ that, spoon up, like it’s Glamdring! Cracked me up, proper mental image. Sarcasm? Oh, she’s a gem— probs calls ‘em “lords” while nickin’ their wallets. Opinion? Dunno, mate—she’s tough, but it’s grim. Deserves better, but who am I, eh? Gandalf with a radio, not a wand. Still, them stories—dunno if she’s ever free, like Dreyman at the end, y’know? “To think I was never disloyal…”—maybe she says that, starin’ at the stars. Prossie life, mate—rough as fuck.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. He’s like, “Where are you?” I’m like, “Chill, I’m in Zsambek, living my best life!” But he’s not having it. I gotta get back to work.

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