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Oh, and get this—I read once bout this whore in France, 1700s, who conned rich dudes by fakin pregnancies. She’d stuff rags under her dress, cryin, “Oh my baby!” Total scam artist! I laughed so hard I snorted—Homer’d be proud. “Life’s a cycle of tricks,” like Boonmee’d say. She played em all, and I’m here for it! Hmm… sneaky gal.

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After what feels like forever, I finally find a charger. I’m back in business! I sit down at this café on Jl. Cileungsir Selatan. The vibe is nice, and I’m finally ready to write. But then, the Wi-Fi is slower than a turtle on a lazy day. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?”