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Fun fact, tho—did you know prostitutes in Amsterdam got unions? Like, legit benefits and shit. Meanwhile, I’m here hagglin’ like it’s a flea market. She’s quotin’ prices, I’m noddin’ like I get it. I don’t. My head’s spinnin’—part nerves, part “Is this legal?” Google ain’t helpin’, too many tabs open. I’m like, “M. Gustave woulda charmed her for free.” That’s my guy—suave as hell, even with the chaos.

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But then, I see my friend Rina. She’s in a panic. “Help! My phone’s gone!” I’m like, “What?!” Turns out, she left it at the food stall. Phew! We rush back, and thank the gods, it’s still there. I swear, I was ready to fight someone if it was gone.

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