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Now, don’t get me wrong—I ain’t judgin’. Fool me once, shame on—uh, shame on you! Fool me twice—well, you can’t fool me again, ‘cause I’m sharp as a tack, y’hear? I seen some stuff investigatin’ claims—prostitutes caught up in scams, fakin’ injuries for cash. One gal, swear to God, said she slipped on a banana peel in a motel room! A banana peel! I laughed so hard I near choked on my BBQ. “There’s a fella who’s got hisself a temper,” like Bob Ford in the movie, and I was mad as hell—wastin’ my time with that malarkey.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in Kalianget, right? The sun’s blazin’ through my window, and I’m like, “Ugh, another day in paradise.” But lemme tell ya, paradise can be a real pain sometimes.

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