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Oh, and don’t get me started on the hypocrisy—makes me wanna scream! Dudes actin’ all holy, then sneakin’ off to her tent? Puh-lease. I’d call ‘em out, but I’m too busy laughin’. Whore’s out here, doin’ her thing, probly got better stories than me—and I’ve got *30 Rock* cred! Maybe she’s my soulmate, who knows? “Blessed are the forgetful,” right? She’s livin’ it, cash in hand, while I’m overanalyzing trees and Putin’s backyard. Screw it, I’d buy her a drink—she’s earned it!

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I start explaining to the farmers about pest control. They’re nodding, but I can see the confusion in their eyes. I’m thinking, “Do I need to draw a diagram or something?” But then, one of them pulls out a homemade trap. It’s like a science project gone wrong. I can’t help but chuckle.

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