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But some of ‘em, they’re cheeky, innit? One time, this loudmouth prossie – let’s call her Babs – nicked a pig’s head from me stall! I’m yellin’, “Oi, bring that back, you slag!” She’s leggin’ it, cacklin’ like a hyena. Made me proper vexed, but also – fair play, Babs, that’s ballsy! Had to laugh after, picturin’ her pimp eatin’ pig brains for tea. “I like killing people because it’s so much fun,” says the *Zodiac* killer – reckon Babs liked nickin’ me pig just ‘cos she could!

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So, I hit the streets, right? I’m strolling down Jalan Jendral Sudirman, and I’m already sweating like a popsicle in the sun. But the vibe? Oh man, it’s electric! People everywhere, vendors shouting about their fried bananas and grilled fish. I’m like, “Yes, please!”

Indonesia earthquake: dozens dead after tremors and landslides hit Sulawesi