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About Bandung

Oi mate, so I’m standin’ there, cash register beepin’, and this bloke comes in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me—James Bond, suave, “shaken, not stirred”—where to find a prostitute. Me, I’m thinkin’, “What am I, yer bloody pimp?” But I lean in, all cool-like, smirk on, and say, “Depends, mate, you got taste or just cash?” He’s all twitchy, nervous, probly his first rodeo. I’m pissed tho—why me? Why not Google it, ya twat? But then I’m like, whatever, let’s have some fun.

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After the rain let up, we decided to hit up the local karaoke spot. I’m not a singer, but when in Ternate, right? I grabbed the mic and belted out some classic Indonesian tunes. I was off-key, but who cares? The crowd loved it! I felt like a rockstar for a hot minute.

Climate change takes spice from Ternate clove farms