Lauren Tobelo Whore ❤️❤️

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Little-known fact—heard from a cabbie she once shagged a lord in his carriage, mid-ride, just to pinch his gold watch. Ballsy, right? Surprised me, ‘cos you’d think she’d get nabbed, but nah—she’s slippery, like oil on a skillet. “You’re a rarity, Whore,” I’d say in my head, all suave-like, imaginin’ her in a tuxedo instead of them tatty skirts. Bet she’d rock it, too.

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I get to the shop, and it’s a mess. Flour everywhere. I swear, it looked like a flour bomb exploded. I’m like, “Who did this?!” Turns out, my cat, Kiki, thought it was a playground. Classic Kiki. I can’t even be mad. She’s too cute.

4.6-magnitude earthquake struck city of Tobelo in Indonesia