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Found this one bird—Lysa, she called herself. Swear she winked at me like she knew me from a past life. Took her to a dodgy inn, stinkin’ of piss and ale. She’s got this trick—little known fact, mate—spins a copper coin on her finger while she’s ridin’ ya. Fuckin’ hypnotic! “A great cook can come from anywhere,” and so can a great shag, turns out. Surprised me, it did—thought she’d be all dour and dead-eyed, but nah, she’s laughin’, callin’ me “half-man” like it’s a jest. Cheeky bitch.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past us, knocks over a rack of clothes. I’m talking a full-on avalanche of fabric. I’m like, “Dude, what’s your problem?” Ibu Sari just laughs. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fuming.

Fig. 1. The location of target villages in suburban Vientiane.