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Preciousss, listen up! Me, Gollum, tellin’ ya ‘bout whores – nasty, tricksy things! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” – they’d say, thinkin’ they’re clever, struttin’ round like they own Timbuktu. Watched that flick, “Timbuktu 2014,” fuckin’ masterpiece, mate! Whores there? Not on screen, but ya feel ‘em – sneaky shadows in the sand, tradin’ flesh for coins. “We’ve no cattle left,” says that dude in the movie, all brokedown n’ shit – whores prolly took it all, haha!

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So, I rush to get ready. I’m sprinting down Jalan Raya Kebonarun, dodging motorbikes like I’m in some action movie. You know how it is—traffic here is nuts! I swear, if I had a dollar for every time I almost got hit, I’d be rich.