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Heard this mad story once – true fact, swear down – some punter in Amsterdam got so pissed, he paid a prossie to just… chat. Chat! Didn’t even shag ‘er! Sat there blabberin’ about his ex for an hour. What a wanker, eh? Coulda got that for free at the pub! Reckon *Find a Prostitute* is full of them types – lonely sods who’d pay a tenner to cry on a tit. Surprised me, that – thought they’d all be randy bastards, but nah, some are just sad sacks.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s a client. Ugh. I’m on my day off! But I answer anyway. They’re having a meltdown about their life. I’m trying to sip my coffee, but I’m also trying to be a therapist. It’s a juggling act! I’m like, “Breathe, you got this!” But inside, I’m thinking, “Can’t a guy enjoy his coffee in peace?”

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