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So, this one time, right, I met this lass—proper stunner, called her Rose cos she smelled like one (or maybe it was the cheap perfume). Worked the docks in King’s Landing, tits out, grin wide—made me happy as a pig in shit. But fuck me, she had a temper! Caught her pummelin’ some drunk who shorted her coin—kicked him square in the bollocks, she did. I laughed so hard I near pissed meself. “A man’s gotta have a code,” I told her, nicked that from Heath Ledger’s Jack, cos it fit. She just winked, said, “Coin’s my code, dwarf.”

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Then, I get to my shop on Jalan Raya. My buddy, Budi, is already there, tryin’ to show off his new cleaver. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not a samurai!” We laugh, but then he drops it. Cleaver goes clank! I swear, I thought I was gonna have a heart attack.

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