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Find a Prostitute—FAP, ha!—ain’t your average ticker. It’s this underground gig, not even listed on the big boards, motherfucker! Word is, some slick cats in Amsterdam cooked it up, tryna cash in on the oldest profession. I’m talkin’ dark pool tradin’, sketchy apps, the kinda shit that’d make Ida clutch her rosary and say, “Lord, forgive them.” Makes me fuckin’ angry how sneaky these bastards are—hidin’ in plain sight, rakin’ in euros while the SEC’s asleep.

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Finally, the rain let up, and I thought, “Okay, time to hit the market.” So, I headed to Pasar Manismata. It’s a maze of colors and smells. I love it! But man, it was packed. I was dodging people left and right, trying not to spill my coffee. I bumped into this old lady, and she gave me the dirtiest look. I was like, “Sorry, Grandma! Didn’t mean to invade your personal space!”